How Do You Still Like Him?
Oftentimes people ask us how we are so happy all the time. Or how could we genuinely still like each other so much. Time and time again the answer has remained the same. We intentionally choose peace and happiness. This does not mean that we are void of conflict. It just means that we can easily let it go and make consistent efforts to reconnect.
Hand in hand
We choose to walk this path together while doing the best we can be each others peace.
We clearly have decided that we want to do life together. Whether you are married, or engaged, or in a relationship, even co-parents. You made a commitment to do life together in some way. Do your part to make it as stress free as possible. That means letting things go. Letting things go does not mean to ignore your big feelings, it doesn't mean to remove accountability when your partner lets you down. It means that you do not allow those big feelings to take up so much space. You feel it, you communicate it with your partner, then you let it go. There should be no reason that an annoyance from Monday allows you to cancel plans for Friday night.
I am currently reading the “Letting Go” chapter in Lighter by Yung Pueblo and this quote resonated with me.
“Difficult emotions feel like they are permanent when we are experiencing them, and we react to them as if they would last forever, forgetting that they will subside and others will take their place.”
Our reaction to difficult moments in our relationships do more damage than the actual difficult moment. If every time I felt let down by my partner I allowed myself to rage clean, slam cabinets, stonewall, or avoid physical connection, I'd be creating a very stressful life for myself. I could instead acknowledge that I'm annoyed, disappointed, sad, angry, overwhelmed, let down, then used my wise adult brain to react in a way that doesn't make it worse. Of course there are limits for everyone. I don’t expect anyone to keep their cool all the time. Especially if you have repeatedly communicated something to your partner and they keep falling short. However, most of the time we allow human error to drive us into madness.